I don’t fail

A couple of weeks ago I got an email from our COO of our Apothecary business:

“i don’t f*cking fail — and you don’t either.”

He didn’t use an asterisk though, he’s aserious business man with a heart of gold, and I love it.

It moved me. Not only was I glad he was so pumped about the direction of our business, I was convinced that he was right – we don’t fail.

Now imagine if he had said “I can’t fail.”  I don’t know about you, but my mind immediately says, “well…actually, you can fail.”  Our minds are amazing at disqualifying statements, and they often do so without us being aware it’s happening.

In 2012 the Journal of Consumer Research published a research study on how our external and internal language affects our goal-directed behavior.

In one of the studies conducted they had 30 women sign up for a health and wellness seminar.  In the seminar these women set long-term health and wellness goals.  Then they were split into three groups.

The first group of 10 women was told that when they felt enticed to slip on their goals, to just say no.  This group was not given a specific strategy to continue with their goals and therefore was the control group.

The second group of 10 women was told that anytime they felt enticed to slip on their goals to use the verbiage “I can’t.”  For instance, “I can’t eat cake” or “I can’t miss my yoga class.”

The third group was told that when they felt enticed to slip on their goals to use the verbiage “I don’t.”  For example, “I don’t eat cake” or “I don’t miss my yoga class.”

For the next 10 days, every woman received emails reminding her to use her assigned strategy and requesting her to report instances where the strategy worked or didn’t work.

After 10 days, the results were gathered.

The just say no group had 3 out of 10 members who continued with their goals for all 10 days.

The “I can’t” group had 1 out of 10 members that continued with their goals for all 10 days.

The “I don’t” group had 8 out of 10 members that continued with their goals for all 10 days.

Using words that express freedom of choice (like “I don’t”) create empowerment and control over your life.  On the other hand, words like “I can’t” feel like repression – like you’re being forced to do it. And for a lot of us when we feel like we’re being restricted or told what to do, we have this inner rebellion – “You can’t tell me what to do!!” This can be self sabotage if it’s a revolt against our own goals.

Change this one little word and you’ll see that you can stick to it, you can make your goals happen, you can avoid that chocolate cake.  ‘Cause you chose it and you’re in charge.

I don’t f*cking fail – and neither do you. – Tweet it

For the next 10 days let’s be the “I don’t” group.  When you think about skipping your work out, or not finishing the project on time, or eating that pint of ice cream, remember you don’t.  Scroll down to the comments and tell me how it works for you!

I’m so grateful for you,

Briana

PS There is a lot of exciting stuff happening over here in Briana-land, and one of those things is that I have one business coaching opening for 2014!  If you’re interested in pushing your business forward in a huge way this year contact Phil at phil@brianaborten.com and he’ll send you information.