I Cried Through the Whole Thing: A Journey of Spiritual Healing and Self-Forgiveness

This past weekend, I sat down to meditate.
And as I sunk into that space beyond time and space - the place where everything real lives - something deep started to move.
 
I was led straight into a healing I didn’t even know I needed.
And the tears flowed.
 
Not pretty, peaceful crying.
The kind where your chest aches and your face is wet and you’re not even sure what you're crying for anymore - just that it matters.
 
In that stillness, I met places in my heart where I had deserted myself.
Moments - some sharp and clear, others a faint memory- where I had let fear or pain close the doors to my own love.
Where I had decided, quietly and without ceremony, that it was safer not to feel it all.
 
Opening those doors again was brutal.
It was beautiful.
It was everything.
And maybe the hardest part?
Forgiving myself.

Because there are things we tell ourselves are unforgivable.
Tiny betrayals. Big regrets.
And it’s easy to believe we have to carry them - forever.
 
But forgiveness - real forgiveness - is a wild, trembling, soul-level choice.
And it doesn’t let you stay locked up.
It doesn’t let you stay small.
It opens you.
 
When I chose to forgive myself - imperfectly, clumsily - something moved.
My heart softened in a way that felt new.
I could feel the river of love start to flow again - warm, messy, alive.
 
And it hit me:
It’s absolutely insane to be human.
How much we hold. How much we hurt. How much we heal.
And how, somehow, we keep choosing love again.
 
So if there’s a part of you you’ve left behind . . .
If there’s a locked room inside you where your tenderness is still waiting . . .
Know this:
 
You can visit it.
You can forgive yourself.
You can let your own heart become a river again.
 
It’s not easy.
But it’s worth it.
And it’s time.
 
I love you.
 
Briana

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Your Inspiration Is Sacred—Here’s How to Honor It

Inspiration is one of the greatest treasures of my life.
It’s been a companion since I was little - that wild, sparkling energy that says, "Make something. Express something. Bring something new into the world."

My desire to create has always been one of my greatest strengths. It’s an energy I protect, honor, and trust deeply.

And yet - even now - when that buzzing, electric feeling of inspiration moves through me, I have to make conscious choices about how I respond to it.

Because the truth is: inspiration is sacred, and it doesn’t always scream. Sometimes it whispers.
And when it does - it’s up to us to listen.

What I do when I feel inspired to create

First, I pause.
Even though the energy can feel big and bright and urgent, I don’t rush anymore.
I’ve learned to trust that if the inspiration is real - it’ll be there even if I slow down.

I take a breath.
I listen.
I ask, "What does this want from me?"

Then - I act.
Aligned action is key. Not frantic, fear-based action. Aligned, soul-rooted movement.

Maybe that means jotting down the idea, opening a blank document, recording a voice memo, or putting a meeting on my calendar to devote time to it.

I honor the energy by giving it a place to land.

Not later.
Not someday.
Today.

What to do when you’re not feeling inspired

If you’re in a season where inspiration feels far away - that’s okay. Truly.
Inspiration is a living, breathing force. It ebbs and flows.

When I’m not feeling inspired, I do two things:

1. Create space. I clear physical and energetic clutter. I rest. I spend time in nature. I move my body. I read or immerse myself in beauty. Inspiration needs space to land - it can’t squeeze into an overwhelmed, over-crammed mind.
   
2. Stay curious. I explore. I play. I ask, "What would feel exciting, even if it seems silly or small?"
   Often, inspiration comes back when I stop gripping so tightly and let myself be led by wonder.
   

What to do when you’re inspired but scared

This is a huge one.
Inspiration doesn’t always show up hand-in-hand with confidence.
Sometimes it shows up tangled with fear, self-doubt, and the old, familiar voice of the inner critic.

Here’s what I want you to remember:

Fear is not a stop sign.
Fear is just a sign that you’re at the edge of something meaningful.

When I feel that inner critic start to whisper things like "You can’t do this," or "You’re too busy," or "Someone else has already done it better," - I know I’m standing on sacred ground.

The voice of doubt is loudest right before a breakthrough.

Anything standing between you and what you’re here to create is a big fucking lie.
And you don’t have to listen to it.

You were given the inspiration for a reason.
It’s yours to bring into form.

How to move forward when fear creeps in

1. Name the fear. Call it out instead of letting it fester in the background.
   
2. Take tiny, aligned steps. You don’t have to build the whole thing today. You just have to move one piece closer.
   
3. Create boundaried containers. Set small amounts of time where you only focus on nurturing the inspiration - no judgment, no editing.
   
4. Remember why you started. Reconnect to the deeper soul-yes that made you want to create in the first place. Let that be louder than your fear.
   
5. Normalize the resistance. Everyone - everyone - who creates anything meaningful meets resistance. You’re not broken. You’re on the right track.
   

In the End, Trust Yourself

You don’t need anyone’s permission to follow what’s calling you.
You don’t need to wait until you’re "ready."
You don’t need to listen to the voice that says you’re too late, too much, too busy, too inexperienced.

The spark you feel is real.
The world needs what you’re here to create.

Protect your inspiration.
Trust your creative energy.
Take the next aligned step - even if your voice shakes.

You’re the conduit through which magic enters this world.

I’m cheering you on every step of the way.

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