Blogs | Nine steps to winning

By Briana | November 9th 2013

Nine steps to winning


In my last post, I enthusiastically encouraged you to stop searching for the approval of others and instead become your own favorite. Sage advice perhaps, but many of you asked how the hell you would go about doing this?! I heard you loud and clear and am here to help you along the way.

First, I want to preface these tips with saying two things. One, it isn’t always easy, it takes diligence and practice. Two, loving yourself unconditionally and giving yourself approval doesn’t mean not taking responsibility when you make mistakes and holding yourself to a high standard of integrity in your actions.

Now here are nine ways to win your heart:

1. Give yourself genuine compliments. Looking hot? When you see yourself in the mirror – tell yourself.

2. Take care of yourself when you’re hurt or sick. If your body needs rest or massage or a long bath, do it. Show yourself how much you care.

3. Become more interested in what interests you. Allow yourself complete access to the things that you are passionate about. Don’t hold back, go deeper. Indulge.

4. Forgive yourself. I wrote a blog all about forgiveness and one of the most important places to extend absolution is to you. We all make mistakes, but mental flagellation doesn’t repair the damage – it just causes more. So forgive yourself sincerely, completely, and quickly.

5. Approve of you. Try using the mantra “I approve of me regardless of circumstance.” Say this out loud or in your head throughout the day.

Also, when we can accept and approve of the outside world, without judgment, it becomes easier to allow for our internal reality to exist without disdain. Seek to understand and love what is.

6. Act like the kind of person that you want to be. When you make the effort to operate in the world to your highest ability, you’ll notice. Be generous, loving, kind, present, joyful, fun, forgiving, and light hearted.

7. Choose your internal dialogue carefully. Most of us have had experienced internal verbal abuse for a large part of our lives. You’re not worth, you’re not good enough, you’re fat, you’re ugly, you’re never going to succeed – you know the drill. These thoughts often started when we were too young to protest, but now we’re grown(ish) adults and it’s time to create some boundaries.

The first step is to become aware of the conversation. The second step is to consciously decide to not get down with that bad thought. There are several approaches to not spiraling down the rabbit hole of ick when these thoughts come up: be fierce and sharp – don’t allow the thought to go any further; pattern interrupt – jump up and down, dance your ass off, go for a run; make it big and exaggerated until it’s absolutely laughable; or simply allow it to pass through and continue to focus on the results that you are going for.

8. Do lovely things for your body. Exfoliate your skin, put on delicious smelling lotion, lounge in a sauna, sink your feet in mud. This is your vessel, love it up.

9. Acknowledge your achievements. So many of us are super achievers, we get one thing done and we’re on to the next. But it’s super important to recognize when you’ve accomplished something and celebrate.

If you do these nine things, or even half of them, and have a desire to be your own favorite, I whole heartedly believe that it’ll happen.

You are worthy of your own adoration. – Tweet It

I would love to hear from you! Tell me in the comments  any other suggestions that you have for becoming your own favorite and which of these things you will commit to doing in the next week.

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