Dirty dancing in a dive bar
I hope you’re having a fantastic week. We’re only three weeks into 2013, and I can already tell that this year is going to be a good one. I see so many people really getting into their aspirations for the year.
Oh… and tonight I’m hosting a Virtual Vision Board party for everyone that wants to really catalyze their momentum. I’d love to see you there! (If you haven’t received your invite – optin here.)
The other night I was out dancing with two of my best friends in the world. I love to dance, my whole life it has been my constant, my therapist, my inspiration, my lifeline. Needless to say, I was in heaven, in a little dive bar.
Like most little dive bars across the world, there was also a lot of interesting people watching to be done. And a lot of stories to be made up about what’s going on with the guy at the bar that can hardly keep his eyes open, about the couple that can’t keep their hands off each other, about the bartender that’s been looking longingly at the short order cook.
As I played out these hilarious, torrid and romantic dramas in my head, I started to laugh – at myself! I was completely making this shit up. And though, in this circumstance my made-up anecdotes were causing no real damage, I realize that this is not an isolated incident.
Have you ever found yourself indulging in a make believe story? Even if it isn’t as entertaining as the saucy fiction I was cooking up that night, I know that we all do this to some degree.
The real harm is that we often make up things that feel bad. A friend doesn’t call us back and we make up that they’re mad. Someone cuts us off in traffic and we make up they’re an inconsiderate, bad driver. Our boss doesn’t give us the raise we were hoping for and we make up that she doesn’t appreciate us.
These mini melodramas don’t serve us! They create distance between us and other people and they decrease our positive vibrations.
I would love to say, “Stop making things up.” And have us all just follow along and be rid of our internal story tellers, but it tends to be difficult to just turn it off.
So, here’s what I propose instead: make up things that feel good. I mean, if you’re going to be making things up – they may as well be fun, make you happier, and be truly entertaining.
When your friend doesn’t call back, make up that he’s enjoying a day of long walks, movies, and bubble baths. When someone cuts you off in traffic, make up that they are driving their wife to the hospital to deliver their new son. When your boss doesn’t give you the raise you were hoping for, make up that she’s doing what’s best to sustain the company and move it forward so that you’ll have a job for years to come.
Doesn’t that feel better?
Of course, you can also always ask. Communication eliminates the middle man (your internal fiction writer.) But, until you have time to talk to the other person, try keeping it positive and light.
I’d love to hear from you. Leave a comment and tell me about a time where you made something up about a situation and the results were comical or horrific. And then try on this new way and let me know how it goes.