Life with a new baby
The last couple months have brought incredible change and impossibly big love into my world. Our newest daughter Sailor Celestia was born in November and our family has been cuddled up in the warmth of our home, falling deeply in love, and learning how to be together. I’m so grateful for this time and for my team that has helped make it possible.
Because I was lucky enough to have this time, I was able to craft a container to continue my mission in the world and creating my life exactly how I want it (for the most part) – even with a baby!
As I fumbled through these months I learned a few valuable things that I think would benefit anyone wanting to make big things happen and especially if you have other life obligations, like a baby, requiring your attention.
Put what’s most important to you first. Every day. As humans we tend to do the easiest things on our to-do list first, which can be great to build momentum and feel good about accomplishing things – but can lead to not getting the “harder” but more rewarding things done.
I recommend that instead of working off a to-do list – you put that list into your calendar so that you schedule the high value actions first. For me this means scheduling family time, then big project time, and then filling in the cracks with calls and other tasks that need to get done, but aren’t super important to me.
Be flexible. With little kids it’s especially important to be able to rearrange your entire schedule without skipping a beat – but this is a useful skill for anyone that interacts with the world. Much to my dismay, you can not control the world. Damn it. The next best thing is to be able to bend to the circumstances with grace.
There are few things I like more than a well laid plan. And it can still ruffle my feathers a bit when my plan for the day goes to shit. But, I’m learning. When I’m able to hold a broader perspective of life and goals, I can see that things can be rearranged and moved so that they still get done, even if it’s not today.
Get help. The bigger your goals and aspirations are – the more you absolutely must get help. I feel pretty passionate about this because I see so many brilliant people trying to go it alone. And then they are stressed out, dimmed down, and flailing.
There are lots of ways to get help: house cleaner, nanny, personal assistant, employees, personal chef, or just asking a friend to help you clean out your garage or take your kids for the evening. It can seem like a big investment to get your house cleaned once a week – but it’s not just the value of having a clean house, it’s also your time to get other (more important) things done and removing it from your mental to-do list.
Getting paid help is a form of investing in yourself. You’re sooooo worth it.
Take care of yourself. The busier we get with kids, businesses, projects, work, and friends the less likely we are to really take time to deeply nourish ourselves and the more important it becomes.
For me, with a new baby, I have to be vigilant. It’s not easy. But, I have to be fiercely devoted to my self-care or I lose the ability to manage it all and still be a decent mama to my children and wife to my man. Not only that I just feel unstable and way more emotional when I neglect to give attention to my own wellness.
In order to make sure I don’t let it slip I put it in my calendar: baths, regular massages (booked 3 months in advance), meditation, and exercise. It’s not negotiable. Make your own self-care non-negotiable, it’s one of those highly important things ;).
Balancing life so that we feel good in the midst of our existence is precious. I fall in and out of it – but when I do these few things I’m more in than out.
If you’d like to know more about how I managed to create the life I love, new baby and all, I’ll be speaking with Sisterhood of Reinvention founders Sylvie Matthews and Angie Rice on February 1st. I’m beyond thrilled to be able to share my life lessons with the Sylvie, Angie, and the thousands of other women who are gathering at this free summit to help Create A Life You Love that Loves You Back. Won’t you join me?
I’d love to share this with you.