Only the Tippity-top-top
I can’t believe it’s already fall! I’ve been super resistant to accepting that summer is over, and there have been a few warm days here recently that have me sporting summer dresses, but even in the heat of those days it feels like autumn. Crisp air. Cool breeze.
When the season changes I almost always have a feeling of excitement for what’s coming and simultaneously a sorrow for what is ending. This is amplified for me this year as we await our second daughters birth with great joy, and yet knowing that our family structure as it is currently, with all of it’s sweetness, will never be the same.
That’s how it is with every major life change:
Getting married and leaving behind single life with dating and first kisses.
Moving to a new city and leaving behind friends and favorite cafes.
Expanding your business and leaving behind simpler times and smaller problems.
And that’s where many of us stay stuck, unwilling to move away from comfort and good enough to really go for our dreams.
You have to be willing to let go of good to go for great. – tweet it
I’ve discovered that there are three questions that help me get unstuck and moving toward a more brilliant future, even if that means leaving behind things and ways of life that I hold dear.
What does my ideal future look like?
This is a question about dreaming, not about figuring out “hows”, but just allowing yourself to fully expand into possibility.
Write down whatever comes to you. What does your social life look like? How is your health? Who are you snuggling with at night? How does it feel? What do you do to contribute to the world? Where are you living?
What is so completely amazing in my life that I want to bring it with me in this future?
These are the non-negotiable, can’t-live-without them people, things, ideas, and ways of being. Just the tippity-top-top, not the “it’s working okay, so I guess I should keep it in my life” stuff. The gems, the treasures, the gold.
By all means keep and maintain what’s fantastic already. It can come along. But everything that doesn’t make this list must be considered burnable in service to your ideal future.
How can I let go of everything else?
What do you have to do in order to let go? For me this means a time of grieving what needs to pass. Feeling deeply into it and honoring the ways in which all of it, all of it, has brought me to this moment.
I’ve cried for the loss of our family of three, the simplicity, the way it feels now, and the joy it brings me. And this process has cleared the way for an authentic celebration of our new adventure.
Don’t be afraid to experience the depths of sorrow in what’s passing. There’s beauty there and without allowing it, you can’t fully let it go and be present with what’s next.
So….what are you willing to throw in to your autumn bonfire in order to have the best iteration of your life possible?
Start the fire.