Blogs | The Opposite of Loneliness

By Briana | August 31st 2018

The Opposite of Loneliness


This summer has been a season of connection for me.

Peter, the girls and I have traveled for reunions and picnics with our extended families, gone on vacations to reconnect ourselves, and spent a good amount of time playing and being with our friends here in Boulder, from camping excursions to backyard birthdays.

Meanwhile, our Dragontree Life Coaching program has begun and connecting with the men and women in that program as they follow their calling to serve the collective as listeners and healers has been nothing short of amazing.

The healing work I’m honored to do within our Love Rising Collective calls us closer together, letting us fall into that feeling of being held, and known, and deeply partnered with.

I feel deeply connected, loved, seen.

At the same time, I see the world around us and feel that within the collective at large, confusion is clouding us, and making so many of us feel disconnected, divided, and in conflict. Our human family is… struggling.

Do you sense this too?

Whether you’re feeling lonely in your own life, disheartened by political issues, or out of touch with how you fit into the larger web of the human family, I want you to know that you’re not alone.

I am here with you, and in fact, we are all experiencing this together.

So, what can we do?

True connection starts within us, as paradoxical as that might seem. Connection draws us closer to others, but it really starts with the steps we take to forgive, understand, and accept that which feels different or confusing to us. With some people in our lives, it’s a breeze. For others, those with whom we might disagree, or even fear, it can feel nearly impossible.

For a lot of my clients, it feels especially challenging for them to connect across the lines with someone who seems to be hurting others. This is where the rubber meets the road for most of us, and where the idea of forgiving all and connecting feels particularly tough.

Yet, this is the work that is required of us, now more than ever.

Not to step aside from matters of justice and just say that everything is okay. But instead to deeply feel within us the truth that no one is broken. No one is beyond tapping into their own light. We remember that a person may be confused and hurt, and from that hurting cause harm. And we can work to correct those harms while maintaining our connection to Truth. It starts with being able to forgive.

Real connection begins with forgiveness.

When we can see those we feel disconnected from as hurting, as confused, and as acting out of a place of deep fear, it can feel easier to let our forgiveness surround them.

Imagine a child, throwing a tantrum out of exhaustion or overwhelm, and hitting their sister. You can understand the situation, get down on their level, and deeply feel their big feelings. You can do all this without making them a bad person, an evil person, someone that should be dehumanized. But, you also don’t let them continue to hit their sister.

You can connect, forgive, and still have clear lines about how you’ll stand up to harmful behavior. In fact, rooting our actions in deeply felt connection and freedom-producing forgiveness gives us the foundation and agility to take aligned action in a powerful way.

If we’re all-consumed, seething as we watch the news, but then burn out in our own tantrum without making a single phone call or volunteering for change, we didn’t actually contribute to a solution at all.

So, think for a minute about where this is showing up in your life.

Who or what do you find beyond your scope of forgiveness or connection?
What feels hard, even impossible, about altering that?

Now, can you take five minutes, and meditate on the idea that you may be able to expand your sense of connection so that it includes them?

What would be different about your life if you experienced this?

If you are drawn in to this work, but are feeling stuck, or antsy, or just plain angry and confronted… that’s why I’m here. To help hold space for you to find your path.

In service to your light, and to our deepest unity,

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